Don’t Forget!

Sometimes I get caught up only writing about the significant things in our lives – major milestones, events, deep thoughts – that I forget to document some of the most wonderful things that come and go with Skyler. So here, I’m going to jot them down.

- Since she was sitting in a highchair, Skyler has always wiggled with delight anytime she eats something tasty. She will kick her legs rhythmically during an entire meal of something she enjoys. And if not in her highchair, for instance sharing a piece of chocolate or a cookie with one of us while we’re sitting on the couch, she’ll run around or jump up and down once she gets that tasty bite in her mouth. The way she enjoys good food makes me enjoy good food even more!

- Another food-related memory we like to call “the baby bird.” When she wants what we are eating, she just walks up with her face as close to the food as possible and her mouth wide open, big eyes staring at us. Waiting, patiently, expectantly, for a morsel to make it’s way in her mouth.

-Some kids suck their thumbs are play with the silky tag on a stuffed animal. Skyler plucks Pink Bear’s fur. Between two fingers she absent-mindedly pulls up on his fur, when she’s riding with him in the car, falling asleep, or even just walking by him on the floor, she’ll stop briefly to get a good pluck or two and the be on her way.

- She has been into blankies for awhile now. She found her flannel receiving blankets stacked in a drawer and now they are always out and about everywhere (there’s at least a dozen). She likes to spread them out flat on the floor, or cover up Pink Bear, Bruno, Mom, Dad, dolls, pillows, you name it. But she only likes to cover things up one blankie at a time. If she asks for help and you pile several blankies on at once, she gets upset and yells “One at a time!”

- Ever since she was recovering from her surgery she’s had protein shakes to drink on a regular basis. We all drink whey protein in this household, so the top of our fridge has bags & containers of different brands and flavors depending what’s on sale or if Ronnie’s clients gave him some they didn’t like (score!). Skyler now knows that’s where her “chocolate milk” comes from, and she’s particular on which bag even. Currently there’s a purple bag of protein with a colorful diagram on the back that she thinks looks like a beach ball, and a black bag with green on it. When she wants milk she’ll ask for either the “beach-a-ball one” or “gween one.” I don’t think she really knows the difference in taste, but it’s more which bag she likes the look of better at that time.

I’m sure there are many other little things I should be writing down, but that’s all I can think of at the moment. These are the things I’m going to need to dig down and remember fondly someday when she’s an introverted teenager that doesn’t talk to us!

Projects

- A friend is wanting to get rid of her Chevy Tahoe, and is offering us a great deal to buy it. So we’ve listed the Jetta for sale. If we can get what we want for the Jetta, and the Tahoe is still available, I’ll have a nice new ride. But I’m not getting my hopes up…if it doesn’t work out then we’ll probably just pay the Jetta off and get a new vehicle next summer.

- Today we hit up Home Depot to take advantage of 12 months no interest so we could do some house projects. We got some stone tile for the kitchen backsplash, and wainscoting for the guest bathroom – it was either that or a bunch of new drywall since we had to tear holes in the wall looking for a leak that turns out was created by a mouse chewing through the icemaker hose – that is, the icemaker hose that we don’t even use b/c it needs a new filter so we just buy bags of ice instead. Yeah, I know what a waste? It’s just not something I think of. Ever. Except when buying bags of ice, but they don’t have filters at the grocery store, so what’s the point? So stupid mouse caused a leak in a hose whose soul purpose is for something we don’t even use. And now we have big holes in three walls; behind the dishwasher, in a closet, and in the guest bathroom. So the wainscoting will patch the bathroom holes but also add a really nice, clean, decorative touch to that bathroom. So it’s an upgrade, I guess you can say.

P.S. – did anyone know that mice love dogfood? While looking for the leak, Ronnie pulled the dishwasher out, and found a giant stash of dogfood under the dishwasher. I guess they were saving it for a rainy day?

P.P.S. – Did I mention we have mice? Awesome.

One of Those Nights Again

If it’s not the annoyance of a whiney child, it’s the monotony of just another typical evening alone at home with a toddler. Ronnie has worked till eight the last two nights, and OMG are these some looooong evenings.

And it’s not the kind of boredom because there is nothing to do, it’s because all the normal things to do that must be done (fold laundry, pay bills, grocery shop, etc) are just such a drag. And it’s all an endless cycle, which is probably the crappiest thing about all that.

I actually dread 5 o’clock at work because I don’t want to face another evening like this. I long for the ability to leave work and maybe act on the impulsive thought to go to the mall or have a nice long workout, because it’s what I want to do and isn’t dependent on anyone else and no one else is dependent on me. It’s all those reasons I never wanted children that sort of rise up against me now and then, like a little devil on my shoulder, reminding me of how things used to be.

But I wouldn’t trade it. No, never would I trade Skyler for that life again. I just sometimes wish I could modify things in this life a bit. Like have the option of not having her daycare as part of my route twice a day every day. I dream of leaving work, knowing that Ronnie has gathered Skyler and her belongings and brought her home safely, is getting her dinner ready, and I can either go run some errands or just come home to an evening that’s already being taken care of by someone else. I’ve experienced this a precious few glorious times when Ronnie’s workday has allowed. But they are so few and far between.

Someday Skyler will be in school and maybe riding a bus that delivers her to and from home, and then not long after that she’ll be old enough to be home alone. None of tonight’s complaints will matter, and I’ll be missing her littleness. I won’t get the kisses, and will no longer be reading books with her in my lap and rocking her before bedtime. It will all be different.

This life is such a dichotomy.

And I’m not even PMSing. Promise.

The Good Life

Ronnie recently made a big decision to step down from his Fitness Manager position at the gym and just focus on personal training. A part of his decision was for financial reasons, and the other part was personal. The management position was causing him a fair amount of stress, taking the joy out of doing something he loves. So now he’s doing only the part he loves, which also includes working fewer hours during the day, and being able to leave as soon as his last appointment in the evening is done. While managing, he used to have every intention of leaving after his final appointment, but then managerial duties would call, and he’d be required to stay later.

I don’t know if either of us realized how much positive this change would bring us. First, I didn’t realize how stressed out Ronnie was every evening and weekend until the stress was gone. He is like a different person now when he walks through the door after work; much more relaxed and in a lighter mood.

Second, he usually has a few free hours during the middle part of the day that he used to do admin work. Now, he uses those hours to take a nap, go for a motorcycle ride, run errands, or best of all, come home and CLEAN THE HOUSE. That last item has been nearly the best thing about all of this. Though he’s not home much more to help me with Skyler, his coming home and cleaning has taken such a weight off the things for me when I’m home alone with Skyler. There is just such an amazing, peaceful feeling of walking into a clean house, even if your hands are full of Toddler & Toddler Accessories, after they’ve whined the entire way home from daycare.

I’m sad to say this for the risk of sounding terribly materialistic and shallow, but the new state of cleanliness in our home has made me a happier person all around, and certainly improved Ronnie’s and my relationship. One of my favorite mom bloggers described this phenomena rather comically (as usual) in the last paragraph of this post. Ha ha.

The ultimate result of these changes is more enjoyable family time. As they say, when momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy, and of course the opposite holds true. We spent a lovely Friday evening last night at one of our favorite Westport restaurants, McCoy’s with Skyler charming all the restaurant staff and guests, followed by stopping at not one, but two parks around the neighborhood. Another family of young ones at the second park commented how it’s funny the way as parents we spend our Friday evenings nowadays. Yep, we still “partied” in Westport last night, but not the way we used to. And it’s still a great life.

Here I go again…

…playing catch up. I didn’t realize it had been so long since my last post! We haven’t even been busy; I’ve just been in a funk. Because we haven’t been busy. All Spring and Summer up until we got back from Vegas, we’ve had plans most weekends. I love it and I hate it, but mostly I love it. I thrive on getting out of the house, and most of all, socializing. I don’t need a party of 100 people to have fun, but getting away and visiting, even if just with one other person at their house, that keeps me sane.

I’ve always been a planner and liked to have plans. My parents used to give me a hard time in highschool because I could never just relax at home. And nothing has changed. Now and then after several weeks of busy I’ll long for nothing to do. But as soon as I have that free weekend, I’m over it by mid-Saturday and antsy for some plans.

On top of that, I’ve never been in love with our house. Even after all the work we’ve done on it to transform it away from the dump it was when we bought it, I’m still not satisfied. I don’t get that homey feeling ever, and there isn’t one room in this house that I just love. In fact most of the rooms bug me for some reason, and I still can’t get the grossness of the previous owners & their presence out of this place. Even after 3 1/2 years.

Many of the windows are still old, cracked, with no screens. One pane in the dining room even has a tacky red, white, and blue “Aim high” Air Force sticker on it that we keep forgetting to remove. Sure, new windows is on the to-do list, but that’s a big one, and knowing Ronnie he’ll want to install them himself instead of pay for labor, so I can just count on waiting awhile for that project!

Then there’s our closet doors. Two mirrored sliders on a digusting, rusty track. It squeals and catches every time we open or close it. I’ve been so tempted to take a sledge hammer to those doors to put them out of commission and force us to get new ones sooner than later.

I could go on, but point taken. I don’t like being at home. Period. So the last few weekends with no plans, no babysitter, and no money to even make plans, made me into a crazy woman.

Luckily on Friday, Ronnie came to my rescue (or his?) and got his mom to keep Skyler for the night. We both had the afternoon off, so we hopped on the motorcycle and headed to visit a winery in Eudora that we wanted to check out. It was a fun, last minute getaway, and then we met my brother and his girlfriend in Westport for dinner. Besides the tummy ache I had when we got home (I managed to eat a lot of unhealthy stuff over the course of that day), it was a fantastic change of pace to the downward spiral of boredom and stir-craze that I’d been living.

The rest of the weekend has shaped up nicely as well. Yesterday morning Skyler and I met a good friend and her two kids at Deanna Rose Farmstead. And today, we’re taking dinner over to some good friends and meet their new baby boy.

Next up, lots of photos! And I have a hilarious video of Skyler being, well, Skyler, I guess.

All in One

Since I can barely keep up, I’m going to just throw a bunch of stuff together in this post! And while I am still working on the video from Rockfest last week, I’ve got lots of new photos to post. Here goes –

Mulberries! When we bought this house a little over 3 years ago, my mom thought we might have a mulberry tree. But we never saw any fruit, until two weeks ago! And then we noticed it everywhere, and have counted three mulberry trees. We had one when I was growing up and I used to love to go out there and eat the purple berries, but I also got in trouble for soiling many a pair of shoes running around in the mulberry-stained grass. Skyler loves the mulberries too and each evening we try to go out there and snack on a few fresh ones!

Yesterday we headed across town to Lee’s Summit and had pool time with friends and then a bbq. We had a fantastic time, even though most of the kids were worn out by the time it was over. Here are a few pics (lots more in the Flickr photostream in the right column) –

Finally, my friend Maria was brave enough to ask me to try my hand at shooting some maternity photos for her second pregnancy while she was in town yesterday. It was not only fun, but I think it was successful! Here are a few of my favorites – she posted more on her blog.

And, I’m still driving the Traverse! Early this week I should be trading in the LS for the fancy schmancy LTZ, so look for some new stuff from me over at Mommy Madness KC!

The Big One

Today was Skyler’s first birthday! It’s a kind of bittersweet to be so excited about today, when it’s also a day of mourning and remembrance for the events of 9-11-01. But according to the Bible, there is a time for everything. I love these verses because they help me focus on living a balanced life with meaning:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Today we didn’t do much for Skyler’s birthday because the big family celebration will be on Sunday. But Ronnie picked up a musical keyboard for her (it’s actually Hannah Montana – oh no!), and her first Care Bear, Funshine Bear. He cracks me up! We were going to wait to get Skyler something after the party on Sunday since we have no idea what others are getting her. But of course, Skyler’s Daddy just couldn’t resist!

Yesterday at daycare they made cupcakes for her birthday (she goes to my mom’s on Thursdays so she wasn’t there on her actual birthday). When I picked her up, she smelled like sugary icing, and apparently made quite the mess of herself. She was also in another outfit that wasn’t one of ours, so I asked if she’d made that much of a mess. Darlene, her teacher, just said “no, this is her birthday outfit that we got for her! Doesn’t she look cute?” It is a really cute outfit, and I thought that was so sweet of her to do! Skyler liked it too, so we got home and took a picture of her in her new birthday outfit:

It’s been fun, and surreal at the same time. And we haven’t even had a party yet!

Blast from the past

I’ve been meaning to go back and look at my old babysite from time to time, on the same date last year, and see what my thoughts were, since I was still pregnant. I finally did that tonight, and I’m so glad I did! It was actually a pretty significant “turning point” in my pregnancy. August 13th’s post was called “change of plans.” August 13 was that strange morning when I woke up early (on the couch in our back lliving room – I remember it so clearly!) and could not go back to sleep, because of this persistent thought that I should try normal labor instead of opting for a C-section. I completely forgot that I went that much of my pregnancy preferring a C-section, especially after how everything turned out! I stuck to my instinct from that day forward, went through with it, and had the most joyous labor experience. [Besides the ridiculous pain I was in once the epidural wore off (luckily AFTER Skyler was born), and the remainder of the afternoon and evening that I spent in so much pain that I didn't even want to hold her (gosh I cannot imagine that!) until I finally broke down in tears at 10:30 at night begging for something stronger than Tylenol 3!] Even my labor, while induced, was a calm experience, not too long at all, and the pushing was a lucky 25 minutes or so. It was hard, hard work, but exciting all at the same time. And so worth it! I can’t even describe how my life has changed from that moment on!

Not that having a C-section would have been any less exciting, it just would’ve been a different experience altogether. I’m so proud of myself for having that realization and giving my body the chance. And I’m proud of my body for being up to the task. There were a few hours during the early labor that the nurses wondered if my body wasn’t up for it and a C-section was in my near future, but luckily after the epidural was in, we were home free!

Then I read ahead to August 15th’s entry. I still think these thoughts on a regular basis, and am still so amazed with where we are today. It was the end of one chapter, and the beginning of a new one. All the things that have happened since then, the ups and downs, I had no idea back then! That new little chamber of my heart that started growing back in January ‘07, is now the biggest part of my heart and keeps growing, exponentially as days go on. Funny, Skyler was diagnosed with an enlarged heart back in March, but I think it was definitely hereditary, because she has caused mine to grow so big that I feel it trying to burst out of my ribcage when I think of all the joy she brings me. But while she is growing into hers, I feel that mine will continue to outgrow me the older she gets, and I’ll never be able to catch back up with it!

I sense…

…the relatively calm chapter of life with an immobile baby is fast coming to a close.

…using the diaper-changing table is most likely becoming more hazardous to both Skyler and myself. Whether she is flipping to her belly in mid-change, or grabbing a pooh-filled Pamper and shaking it like her favorite rattle, we’re soon going to need a new arrangement.

…she knows a lot more words than I realize she does. That is a good and bad thing. The good: she understands bottle, toe, belly, finger, thumb, ring, Duck, Pink Bear, Brown Dog (the previous three are her very creatively named stuffed animals), Bruno, Daddy, Mommy, and surely a wealth of other things that I haven’t realized yet. Hopefully not those four letter words that get uttered occasionally by members of the household that will be left unnamed (and there’s not just one of them).

…a couple more upper teeth on the horizon. The casual sipping of bottles, gnawing on the nipple, and lack of interest in four ounces when just three days ago 10 ounces was not enough. Oh, and she’s back to nose-biting (as in grab the closest human’s face by the ears and yank them faceforward, clinching their nose between her four teeth).

…that Skyler is just as thrilled with our sluggish air conditioner as we are in these 100+ heat-index days. Nothin’ like sweating in a diaper. Yuck.

…writing a legal will is not going to be fun, and not something to take lightly. I can’t even think about not being in this world to raise Skyler should something unexpected happen. There is just NO ONE fit to bring her up the way we can, no matter how I look at it. (So, God, I’ll just put Baby Einstein and Veggie Tales down as her potential guardians, but we’ve got an agreement that this will never be necessary, cool? Cool. Amen.)

…my baby has precious little “baby” left in her. We’ve been surprisingly blessed by her somewhat prolonged babyhood, but when I stop and think about life only 10, 6, and even 2 months ago, I see how much has changed, and I realize the precious “baby days” of my sweet little girl are quickly coming to an end. And my heart hurts a little.